Handshakes, Voices and Hugs

As I typed the title of this essay, I simultaneously contemplated the return emails of those unsubscribing from my list! Fret not loyal ones, I’m moving forward with my thoughts…but I’m also bracing for some opposition. :-)

See, I need more handshakes and I need to hear more voices and, yes, I need more hugs. And I need these things from YOU! Now I have plenty of love and human, physical contact in my personal life. I am quite blessed, I must say, in this arena. I was raised in a home where hugs, kisses and pats on the back were commonplace. And I am doing the same with my family today. It’s just the way we do it. Not right, not wrong, just our way.

But I’m worried. I’m worried that my son might “text” his way to the prom, in spite of my wife and my best intentions to criminalize Wii and DS in our home. I’m concerned that Face Book and Twitter will corner the market on the human art of following. I’m equally worried that our society is heading down a road where people live part of their lives in the snippets, clichés and anecdotal information they share on the fly between the real stuff of home, work and community.

We’re already here: online interviewing, cyber dating, the narcissism of Face Book (and yes, I subscribe); the nuttiness of telling all of your “friends” what you’re thinking, doing and feeling via your cell phone; and the threat of our libraries going paperless…yes, it’s already here! My blogs are being “published” on the internet for gosh sakes (maybe not this one :-)) But I did not hire an editor. I did not seek out a publisher with the intent to put my thoughts on paper, between two flaps and sell it at Borders for $14.95. That would be too much work. I can call myself a published author simply by blogging my carefully or poorly constructed thoughts…and so can you.

I have written approximately 17 essays over the last 4 months and have distributed them to all of you via my internet marketing service and my blog. I am a customer and creature of this very thing I am weary of – yep, it’s hypocritical. And over these last four months, I have conversed with many of you about these ideas and issues of which I write and I am always happy for the correspondence that occurs between us.

But I want to tell you a quick story: I play basketball with a group of guys at a local church most Sunday nights. I’ve been doing this for over 12 years now. A few will even get this article…most will not. But we are friends. We know each other’s kids. We know where to give each other the ball on the court for our best shots. We talk all 90 minutes that we’re playing. We tease each other, listen to each other and sometimes we even get into arguments with each other – mostly about who fouled who and how hard, but we work it out. There have even been a handful of physical confrontations over the years, but we work it out. We shake hands, we hear each other’s voices and we even hug – ya’ know the “off to the side, faces far apart, shoulder to shoulder man hug?” And we’re not talking about empathy in the workplace, or fears or Servant Leadership during this time. We’re simply occupying and sharing physical space, all at the same time on a basketball court.

There are close to 1,000 of you who receive my writings. It would, of course, be impossible for all of us to become acquainted in the aforementioned manner of which I share; basketball games or otherwise. But I cannot help but sense that for some of the benefits there are to communicating through mediums (other than shared oxygen) of which I discuss, we are losing something in the process. There is little to no emotion when we tweet, unless we’re truly gifted writers and then it’s still compromised. We cannot see the wrinkles in each other’s eyes when we type “LOL.” And my website, voicemail message and Face Book bio are simply the cheaper versions of me.

It appears to be here to stay, this social media paradigm of which we’re entrenched. It’s where Gen Y lives. So if you’re selling anything that they are interested in and the main thrust of your work is to make a profit, you’d better be hanging out on Face Book and its counterparts.

Just remember though that tears, side-splitting humor, eye contact, in person “I’m sorry-s” and a good firm handshake are the stuff of true friendships. And you don’t need a password to access it.

Hope to SEE you soon.

Jerry Nehr
www.creativediscoveries.net