Second question: Did you choose your current mood, or did it just come upon you?
If we believe that our mood is "just the mood" that we're in at the moment, then our mood is in charge of many things, yes? How we see others; how we treat others; how we respond to situations; the words we choose; the decisions we make throughout the day and what we believe about ourselves.
Isn't it great when we're in a good mood? Everybody's nicer. We're nicer. We're happier (and healthier, and funnier and more attractive and...). The sun is brighter and the tailgater on the freeway is "probably just in a rush and let's hope for her safety." :-)
But when we're in a bad mood, oh boy! The world is not a place of peace. We look for everything and anything to solidify our notion that "things are pretty screwed up." The job is going nowhere. The economy will never come back. My kids are constantly asking for more, more, more. And what an idiot that guy is, driving so close behind me...I can't wait 'til this day's over.
Just my words and examples, but hopefully you get the spirit of my assertion that we, sometimes, are in receivership of our moods.
But what if we changed the picture. What if we made the decision to choose the mood we wished to be in? That, in fact, our moods were the outcomes of our conscious choices. That, in my mind, would be true personal mastery.
Making the conscious choice to change the mood we're in is a form of self-efficacy (the belief that we can accomplish something). In so doing, we empower ourselves to feel the way we wish to feel. Now feelings of hurt, anger, sorrow and disappointment are natural consequences of life. I, in no way, suggest that these things be repressed, cast aside or expedited before running their due course. What I am suggesting is that our ability as human beings to cultivate a feeling we so desire is not only within our emotional, psychological and spiritual DNA, but also our responsibility to ourselves in relief of the negativity that can permeate our days.
When we CHOOSE...
- gratitude over unhappiness,
- calmness over stress,
- acceptance over victim-hood,
- forgiveness over anger,
- abundance over scarcity,
- being kind over being right,
- lover over fear,
- and patience over control
we are in control of our lives and our moods. Instead of our lives and our moods being determined by the careless driver, the demanding boss, the economy or the car not starting. We always have a choice to decide how we will feel. Feelings follow thoughts - "as we think, so shall we be." It's our corner of freedom.
So try this: Pay attention to your mood for the rest of today. And ask yourself: Is this the mood I wish to be in? And (whether it's a good mood or not) "am I responsible for it?" If you find yourself blaming others for your mood, or wondering how in the heck you got into a particular mood, immediately move your thinking to personal mastery of your thoughts. In other words, what imagery, memories, future plans, or present-moment circumstance can you think of that will take you to a place of goodness?
FYI: I began today's essay in somewhat of a sour mood, so I thought I'd walk my own talk.
Happy mood-ing :-)
Jerry Nehr
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